This morning I have started practicing under the guidance of Steve Hyland. He is not a famous “Ashtangi” still he is certified, he has been practicing with Richard Freeman and Hamish Hendry.
He has installed his Yoga Shala in Pattaya Thailand, a place well known for the night life and “local” girls. However I have absolutely no regret because Steve he’s extremely well qualified.
From a purely physical and external point of view, my practice was not the most aesthetic nor the lightest but from a purely introspective point of view it was revolutionary.
I did listen my body and my breathing pattern, respect all aspect of my body and did not push anything too far or not enough. I was in tune with myself and it was probably the very fist time it happens to me.
The end of the year has been slightly uncomfortable and my body took the hit. During my last day in Mysore I had a nice talk with Trupta and explained him something that happened to me the day before: “As I was walking back home I suddenly started thinking of one heating argument I had before and others stuffs… then I start having such a huge pain in my left knee that I walked back home limping“.
Past and present emotions can be so powerful they can impact our body and well being. I knew it before but I never really measured it to that extend.
Knees represent the refusal to yield, to bend, to obey, to submit.
While I was walking the thought that came up to my mind was an argument I had during which someone was telling me what kind of clothes I should wear in order to be “more respectable in India”, then the feeling of working for a cause that I did not share and the lack of integrity.
I then realised that working on the external side was not properly useful unless we have no idea of what is happening deep inside of us. That is the one of the most difficult thing we have to face as human being and practitioner, do we really take time to understand our inner self? Are we really willing to do this personal work?
It seems that everyone wish to take care of themselves, that is one one of the reason why Yoga has become so popular.
Yoga is “healing”. That is what social networks are saying with all “yogis” posting beautiful filtered pictures in crazy postures including spiritual sentences to caption that moment.
I am not bitter but I am becoming tired of it. The more I am practicing the more I understand that it is not the journey at all. The more I am travelling looking for teachers with who I can practice and evolve the more I understand and realise that I do not know myself and furthermore I never ever let myself to blossom fully.
Home is not a place where I will buy nice furniture in order to be happy, lately I finally understood it. I agree in some way I am very lucky to be able to travel but it is a choice that I have done and now my quest is knowing me better in order to teach what I found on my special quest.
That is only through that particular path that I am able to practice Yoga. Being able to declare that I have read the Sutras and understood the Upanishad and the Gita in order from time to time to place on of these sentence below a picture of myself performing the full wheel is not for me.
You can not buy wisdom, you can not find wisdom in a book and no one can teach what wisdom is.
Being grounded is the very first thing to learn and to practice, that what we should look for.
Making peace with ourself before making peace with others, mastering our emotions.
Being able to understand that we are not what we thought.
Being able to be alone in order to do introspection.
Introspection is a powerful tool, we should allow ourself to it.