A month ago I lost my balance while doing Kukutasana. My ego is only responsible for it. Psychologically speaking I was weak due to recent changes in my life and physically speaking I was in Warrior mode.
While losing my balance I knew I was about to fall, pretty bad, but I could not let it go, I fought for nothing, just for my pride. It is a posture that I have been doing each morning and I was not ready to let it go.
As a result I literally explode my left eye brow, 2 stitches were required.
In order to change my plaster and clean my wound I had to go daily for a week to the Hospital.
At Pattaya General Hospital there is no special service for it. If you have a wound that needs daily cleansing you have to go to the emergencies, that is only this service in charge of it.
On the third day as usual I was at the hospital, with a beautiful black eye.
I went to the reception to give my patient card, then they gave me a form. Following this little procedure I have to go to the emergency room where I need to put my form into a basket that is on a desk.
After this, I leave the room and sit outside waiting for my turn.
Usually I do wait about 45 minutes maximum, sometime less. But this day was a particular one.
At the same time I put my form into the basket the back door opened suddenly, a woman, a mother, rush into the emergency room with a kid in her arms, she is crying, yelling for help.
I promptly leave the place and sit outside. In the confusion the door is not close, therefore I become a spectator of the all surreal scene.
At first I thought the kid was sleeping. Then he started screaming.
They lie the kid on the bed, he is crying loudly. All doctors rush around him. They start to put some tubes in the nose, he is moving so bad that they had to tide him to the bed.
Suddenly I noticed that the kid is bleeding, actually his all face is full of blood…. and it does not stop.
The kid is yelling, the mother and the family are on the side.
Doctors and caregivers are all around the kid, not speaking at all, not yelling, just performing their tasks with an absolute calm.
I have no clue how long the all procedure took, I was hypnotised, chocked, my belly was painful, I felt guilty to be here, just for 2 stitches…..
The more I am looking at the kid the more I understand that it is critical, I never ever seen that much quantity of blood coming outside of a body.
Everyone seemed to be moving with care and controle, doing their best, there is absolutely no sound. And that is the thing. At one point there was no sound at all. Everything was stopped (or was it just my mind)….
Suddenly nothing.
They closed the curtains, and moved the body away. The mother went back into the room. She is crying.
I finally understood that he is dead….
I don’t understand anything, I am lost, I just can’t believe what just happened. Is it really happening?
Then it is my turn. Like a robot I go inside, lie on a bed, the woman taking care of me is the same woman who took care of the kid 5 minutes ago…. she has no expression, she is even asking me if it is painful, I told her no, she then asked « then why crying??? »….
I tried to make her understand that I am chocked about what I have just seen, that I feel guilty to be here because I am not an emergency, I will survive.
She does not understand very well English, she is smiling at me!!
When I left the hospital I was not there, I was playing the scene again and again in my head. Like a binary process on/off, on/off, alive/dead, alive/dead…
I did not understand what happened.
Everywhere we can hear « Live in the present moment » without really understanding the weight of this sentence. That is so true. Today alive tomorrow dead, today happy, tomorrow sorrow, today rich, tomorrow poor, today here, tomorrow somewhere else.
Life does not belong to us. We belong to Her.
Just be Happy and live the Life by giving only the best of Us.
